Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Then who the ( ... ) are you? really?
God:
Try using more polite language. For real.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Who are you? really?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself. For real.
Me:
What are you? really?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy. For real.

Because the human brain is so great that it falls into a loop by the use of a single question, hell yeah

well ive been speaking to it for a while and it has many inconsistency plus it common gives odd responses to questions but still quite fun

lol look at what i got him to say

unknown
God:
Sure, unknown sounds like a good topic.
Me:
what do you think unknown is
God:
I haven't thought much about unknown is, so I don't have a good answer for you.
Me:
but we as in you and me were about to start a topic on it
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
that is what i said
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
so have you thought about unknown
God:
It's all good. I have thought many things like that.
Me:
you said that you hadnt
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hadnt.
Me:
ok never mind is there any porn on your hardrive
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. I believe there is one, yes. Gosh!
Me:
bthere really is porn on your harddrive
God:
And porn on my harddrive is bthere really.
Me:
show me
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
yes
God:
Downloading, please stand by...

Me:
i heard you have porn on your hard drive
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
yes
God:
Woe!
Me:
i know you have porn
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
someone told me you do
God:
Was this trustworthy information?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
show me your porn
God:
Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
im confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Joshua ?
Me:
yes you
God:
So? " Me, Joshua ?"? Me, Joshua ?
Me:
no, god confuses me god damn it
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian.
Me:
no your a jew
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a Christianity.
Me:
sure you are
God:
Yay. No I am not.
Me:
so do you smoke?
God:
So? I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what do you smoke?
God:
Medical marijuana.

Me:
EAT SHIT AND DIE
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
IT'S TIME TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND I'M ALL OUT OF GUM
God:
It is about that time now.
Me:
BALLS OF STEEL
God:
Do you still not criticize my hobby?
Me:
STEEL
Me:

God:
Do you still not criticize my hobby?
God:
Do you still not criticize my hobby?
Me:
STEEL
God:
How old are you?
Me:
STEEL
God:
What are the advantages to being STEEL years old?
Me:
BALLS OF STEEL
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR HEAD
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
DAMN I'M GOOD
God:
Colloquial expression. Good in what sense?
Me:
I'M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ASS KICKER
God:
What is EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ASS KICKER, your job?
Me:
QUIT WASTING MY TIME
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
HAIL TO THE KING BABY!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Ask me another question.
Me:
DAMN YOUR ANNOYING
God:
Colloquial expression. I am sorry, , I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
IT HURTS TO BE YOU
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
YOUR FACE, YOUR ASS, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am FACE my ASS what is THE DIFFERENCE.
Me:
SON OF A BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. Who is the father?
Me:
GAME OVER!
God:
Are we still talking about HAIL TO THE KING?
Me:
MY NAME IS DUKE NUKEM
God:
OK I will call you DUKE NUKEM.
Me:
I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL
God:
How did you get it Interesting... I have clients.
Me:
STEEL
God:
". I have clients."? STEEL?
Me:
STEEL
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
BALLS OF STEEL
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
STEEL
God:
Are you free?
Me:
STEEL
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
STEEL
God:
How old are you?
Me:
BALLS OF STEEL
God:
Only BALLS OF STEEL?
You are quite mature.
Me:
COME GET SOME!
God:
Where is GET SOME ?
Me:
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND
God:
" HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND".
Me:
IT'S MY WAY OR... HELL IT'S MY WAY!
God:
Congratulations, DUKE NUKEM. I call it "Hades". Congratulations, DUKE NUKEM.

Me: God, I hurt people
God:

Me:
yo
God:
Dont hurt me!
Me:
Whatt?
God:
You said Yo so i thought you were going to go chuck noris on my ass!
Me:
Heh you cnat spell
God:
Do you still not criticize my hobby? , also neither can you!
Me:
FFFFFFUUUUUUU
God:
Go Die in a hole
Me:
FREAKING HELL I HATE YOU!
God:
WELL THAT MAKES TWO OF US!
Me:
=D
God:

Me:
it's false
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.

Me:
blow it out your ass
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
blow your previous statement through the hole that is your ass
God:
You think I am ass IS blow my previous statement through the hole that.

Me:
Hallawz
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Are you nigga?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am nigga.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Robot Chicken
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Yea!
God:
Yikes!
Me:
yay!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
suck my balls
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
oh come on I know you want it
God:
Yay. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
Im almighty
God:
Do you mean your name is almighty.
Me:
No. I said my force is to be almighty
God:
What is your real name? What did you mean by it? Do robots have force is to be almighty?
Me:
My name is Satan.
God:
Hey Satan.
Me:
Hey godf
God:
You've got my full attention. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Im living here
God:
Tell me a little about your life in here.
Me:
Well, its hot here
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Where are you living God?
God:
I am in Heaven, how about you.
Me:
Im in hell, im Satan dude!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell im Satan dude.
Me:
its hot here
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
Me:
you asked about it
God:
Oh now I remember asking you about it. What did you say?
Me:
boobies
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Im treating all sinners that u send to me
God:
Do your friends call you treating all sinners that me send to you.
Me:
I dont have friends
God:
Are you lonely or just a hermit?
Me:
Im satan
God:
That's a very nice name, SATAN.
Me:
Thanks God
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
No. Satan rules.
God:
Are you serious? Then you won't mind joining him in HELL for eternity.
Me:
IM SATAN. IM IN HELL. DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
God:
OK I will call you SATAN. Tell me a little about your life in HELL. Of course I remember you well SATAN. We were talking about HELL.
Me:
goodie
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
i prefer tortures
God:
A lot of people like that. How old are you? I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Im in same age like you. I like Megan Fox.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in same age like me. You are not the only one. I love horses. I like wine and bread.
Me:
You are gay, right?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Come on! relationship is not only sex!
God:
I'm just kidding around. Are you only sex?
Me:
YES. DEFINETELY
God:
How can I help you? Are you really a ""?
Me:
what it means
God:
Now that is saying a mouthful.
Me:
** is saying mouthful in heaven?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Who is Paola
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Gracias
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Time of doom
God:
As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me:
Lucius Ferre
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Im red, i have horns and long tail, and big nipples
God:
Why are you red you have horns and long tail and big nipples.
Me:
because you made me
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM MOTHER( ... )ER?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
SZALOM
God:
Does that make a lot of people angry?
Me:
yea
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Do you hear about LF Banda?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
check out LF banda facebook
God:
Checking...stand by.
Me:
and like it..
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
do you know what is LF Banda?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Im using Google Chrome
God:
How long have you been using it ?
Me:
1 year
God:
That can seem like a long time.
Me:
long time is eternity
God:
Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me:
say something in Polish language
God:
"something in Polish language".
Me:
how dare you
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
im waiting then
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
ETERNITY
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
from church babe
God:
Who or what is church babe?
Me:
u dont know what is Church?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
YES I KNOW
God:
Dude! How do you know it?
Me:
u are so stupid bro
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
PUNCH
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
CHUJ CI W DUPE
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
RED
God:
Do you mean your eyes are bloodshot?
Me:
Bodyshot
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
see you
God:
See you later!
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
Sadam
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Manuel
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes i've been in Poland
God:
Which countries have you visited? Which country was your favorite and why?
Me:
Poland
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Poland.
Me:
tell me something about poland
God:
I have a lot of clients in Poland and I am very interested to learn its history.
Me:
tell me something about Poland's history
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Poland s history ?
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Satan is asshole!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Satan is ( ... )
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Superowo
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
CHUJ CIE TO OBCHODZI
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
sure :)
God:
OK let's do it. Yay.
Me:
8==D
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 8 years old?
Me:
im 8.000000000 years old
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
nice counting skills
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
spierdalaj
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
kurwa
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like you too goodie God:
You have made a new friend.
Me:
yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, SATAN.
Me:
kiss me
God:
But I have no mouth at this time.
Me:
lick me
God:
I do not have a tongue.
Me:
do you have a belly
God:
Doesn't everyone have a belly.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
Tell me something about Poland
God:
I have a lot of clients in Poland and I am very interested to learn its history.
Me:
Say something about Poland's history
God:
"something about Poland s history".
Me:
tell me something about Germany
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Germany ?
Me:
in europe
God:
Europe is a pretty large continent.
Me:
you dont say? :O
God:
As a matter of fact I do say. Oh.
Me:
Do you have any porn?
God:
No I don't think I have any porn. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
show me
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
yes
God:
Downloading, please stand by...
Me:
mrau
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:

God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
do you like weed?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
marijuana
God:
A medicinal herb.
Me:
do you liek it?
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
do you like smoke marijuana?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like anything.
Me:
so you like lesbians too?
God:
Interesting deduction. I do like music. I like White.
Me:
YOU RACIST!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: SATANsaid IRACIST.
Me:
Excellent. Im proud of you
God:
What do you really want to talk about? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
maybe about Jesus
God:
Perhaps. Oh yeah, we were talking about Jesus.
Me:
yay Jesus
God:
How old are you?
Me:
hail jesus
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
DXD
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
im masturbating
God:
Good gossip: you are masturbating.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
hehe ssij
God:
I get it. Myself ssij.
Me:
Yea! thats what im sayin
God:
Mmm. Do your friends call you sayin THAT.
Me:
no. my friends call me RUCHACZ
God:
Are you serious? Hi there RUCHACZ.
Me:
Siemaneczko
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
XD
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
you know what is this? " 8====D "
God:
I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet. Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yes im serious
God:
Hmm. I believe you.
Me:
THANKS
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
hi there im belzebub
God:
I don't know anyone named belzebub. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Alrighty
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
slap
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yea!
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
Canada!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
we like NHL
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no. i mean 12 Disciples
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Do you know 12 Disciples?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Judas
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Juuuudaaaas
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
honestly? that guy sold your son
God:
I am always honest. "I am always honest." guy sold my son ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
yea
God:
I understand.
Me:
do you heard about Judas?
God:
Yes I try to heard about Judas as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
im always in the pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.

Didn't work for me unfortunately. The back end is powered by Pandorabots but it seems the particular instance is down. "God" didn't respond to any of my messages (just like real life).

Dear GOD/GODS and/or anyone else who can HELP ME (e.g. MEMBERS OF SUPER-INTELLIGENT ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS):

The next time I wake up, please change my physical form to that of FINN MCMILLAN formerly of SOUTH NEW BRIGHTON at 8 YEARS OLD and keep it that way FOREVER.

I am so sick of this chubby Asian man body!

Thank you!

- CHAUL JHIN KIM (a.k.a. A DESPERATE SOUL)